I Know Not Where I Am

I can't remember where I was the last time I wrote the blog.  I have tried to update on my Facebook page but fans are clamoring for more stories.  I would love to tell you the history of all the places that we have been but my son, Kevin, says that is boring.  He said people only want to read funny stuff.

We have been in Regensberg, Germany today and are now cruising somewhere down some river that I have been informed is not the Danube - yet.  We sure have been going a long way not to be on the Danube, which I may add is the cruise that I paid for.  But, the views are great.  We are passing through 24 locks to get to the Danube, wherever that may be.  Going in these locks is like being in a tomb - all concrete walls and you can't see the top if you are on the ship.  Creepy, but the men seem to be quite fascinated with them.  They even had a lecture about the engineering of the locks.  That was the best nap I have had yet.

As you know, Bill has been on travel probation for years.  I am happy to report that he is doing extremely well.  He eats sausage for almost every meal and each time he has a beer, he says it is the best he has ever had.  One problem I anticipated with my spouse was sleeping arrangements.  We have a variety of sleeping options in our house so if there is a disturbance of any kind, I can order him to another part of the house - the extra bedroom, one of two couches or his big chair.  I was concerned about where he could possibly go if we were stuck in the little cabin of the boat.  He was particularly tired last night and started snoring or some similar type noise before I had arranged my pillows.  I immediately corrected the problem.  As usual, he said he was not even asleep yet.  I anticipated quite a struggle during the night.  I poked him several times to turn over.  One time I jabbed him pretty hard and told him he was shaking the whole room.  Little did I know that the boat was slowing down to go into a lock which was causing it to shake and make noise.  My bad.

I fear lack of sleep on vacation with Bill and plan carefully that we don't end up in a double bed.  I am not sure we could both fit if we slept on our backs.  When I was booking a room with our travel agent for our last hotel, I told her we had to have a big bed.  She got a little huffy with me and told me I knew enough about European hotels to know that large beds are a rare find.  I said, "Do what ever you have to do to get us a king size bed."  She mistakenly sent me an e-mail that she had sent to the hotel stating the room preference noting that we were "very large people."  I can't wait to see their expressions when we check in!

I have found that you can in fact live for five days on sausage, beer and sauerkraut.  I have never in my life had sauerkraut and it has caused me to speak with a German accent.  I have suddenly lost my Czech accent and tomorrow will have to have an Austrian accent.  I am getting tired of learning how to say "I need to make wee wee" in different languages.  I am just going to start holding myself and jumping around like a two year old.  And sometimes they make you pay to make wee wee!  I had to actually sneak in one bathroom because Daddy Warlocks wasn't with me and I didn't have my purse.

Since we are the subject of toilets, Europe has many different ways to flush a toilet.  I have always been very good at it in the USA but here you may have to pull a chain, punch a button, pull a button, or walk off and act like you didn't do anything.  I noticed in the Czech Republic that there are two buttons to push to flush (I have also seen this in other countries).  I always go for the big button just to make sure.  Finally one toilet had instructions, "Full Flush" or "1/2 Flush".  I finally get it.  I have wasted a lot of water apparently.  If you don't understand this let me know - O heck I will tell you now.  Full flush is for making poo poo, 1/2 flush is for making pee pee.

I talked about how unfriendly the Czech people were in general.  They seem a bit friendlier in Germany which makes me feel good since I am of some German decent.  However, they are not all beautiful (see photo of woman below.)  That is a real mustache on the man - he goosed me when they took the picture much to my delight.

Keep those comments coming!